Would You Give Your Spouse a Sexual Hall Pass

Chai Steeves
3 min readAug 31, 2022

And if you would, would it matter for whom it was for?

Photo by Sinitta Leunen on Unsplash

We were sitting on a hillside watching a Sting concert. Pleasantly buzzed on a bottle of wine we were sharing, and with the sunsetting light hitting the stage just right, my wife said to me, ‘do you think he would ever invite me backstage?’

At 70 years old, Sting looked terrific. Yoga and tantric sex have kept him in phenomenal shape, and charisma oozes from his very being. Touring with his son, his longtime guitarist and that guy’s son, and his original drummer’s son, Sting is that rare combination of genius, gorgeous, and — seemingly — a really good guy.

So, yes, for Sting, I would give my wife a hall pass.

Like many couples, this is something we often discuss — always in gest. Who would we want a hall pass for (me — Mila Kunis), and who would you give one for (my wife — Sting and maybe Matthew McConaughey, before he seemed to go a little nuts)?

For us, even when it’s serious, it’s not. As fun as it is to fantasize about having sex with your favorite celebrity, in reality, we would never do the hall pass thing. While I don’t consider myself a jealous person, I think this might make me insecure. And my wife, while she loves sexual adventures, likes them when we share them. So the idea of being with someone else, all alone, doesn’t really appeal to her.

But we know a couple of couples who do give each other hall passes. For them, it’s not with stars — they have an agreement that, under certain circumstances, they can have permission to sleep with other people.

For one couple we know, it’s when they are away on work travel. Anytime either of them travels for work, they have permission to pick up and sleep with another person. They are both very sexual and secure in their relationship and like sharing these stories of sexual exploits. Their rules are few — they need to use protection, and the hookups have to be a one-off thing. They cannot continue to communicate with the person after the encounter. They’ve been doing this for years, and it seems to work.

Another couple we know does it when they are on vacation together. For one night of each of their vacation, she has permission to pick up a guy, have sex with him…



Chai Steeves

eclectic guy - likes sexuality, politics, business, relationships, celebrity trivia...