What Else Can Our Kids Criticize Us For — Apparently Wanting Your Kids to Eat Healthy Makes You an ‘Almond Mom’ Now
As parents, we get used to being on the receiving end of some pretty nasty tirades from our kids. We all know that teenagers can be pros at weaponizing our best intentions — taking constructive/needed advice and warping it into a declaration of war.
The latest — the ‘Almond Mom’ accusation; this was a new one to me, but it’s apparently a weight-obsessed mom who imposes harmful food notions on their kids.
It sounds pretty awful. Moms fat-shaming their kids and imposing their purity and insecurities on their teen — mean and petty s&it. I’m thinking of this nineties beauty-queen mom with her permed hair and long nails doing aerobics as she yells at her kids to get their fat asses off the sofa. And she eats lots of granola.
The problem — as I alluded to it- is that kids are experts at playing the victim and turning advice to attack and feeling victimized by any perceived slight.
Here is the situation that unfolded last Friday evening. Our friend, sincerely concerned for her teenage daughter’s health, suggested they start going to the gym together. Well, you would think she had enrolled her in fat camp. The daughter went ballistic, accusing her of fat shaming and calling her a toxic almond mom.
Our friend was devastated. She’s a great mom — always supportive of her kids — and also a sensitive person. So to hear her daughter say that was pretty hurtful to her. And unjustified — her daughter had put on a ton of weight, stopped exercising altogether, and was unhappy about it.
Now, maybe I am being too dramatic. Kids lash out at their parents all the time. And as parents, we need to develop thick skins.
But what I don’t like about this is that knee-jerk victimization reaction to advice or criticism. As parents, we need to set our kids up for success. And part of that is teaching them healthy habits. And sometimes, we need to do that by correcting bad habits.
Kids must learn to accept constructive criticism and reflect on it as a learning moment. But instead, all too often, they will simply pile on the latest Tik Tok trend to redirect aggressively back to the parent. Slut-shaming, fat-shaming — it essentially means teens should do whatever they want, and if there are negative repercussions, it’s society’s fault, not themselves. I worry about what that does for their resiliency and development.
So yeah, get your fat ass off the sofa.