Taking Your Orgasms to a Whole New Level

Chai Steeves
3 min readSep 13, 2022

Everyone talks about the female orgasm, but what about us guys?

Photo by issa momani on Unsplash

I was speaking to a friend the other day — a guy- and he was telling me an interesting story about his orgasms. Yeah, we talk about weird stuff. Anyway, he said that, as he’s gotten older, he’s having a more challenging time orgasming during sex. And when he has one, it tends to be pretty weak — not the mind-blowing explosions of his youth.

I gave him the standard response that orgasms tend to get a little less intense as we age, but he wasn’t buying it. He felt that his situation was different — not only were the orgasms weaker, they rarely ever happened. He liked sex and had no trouble getting and maintaining an erection, but he could rarely ‘finish’ when he was having sex.

I asked him a little more and went home and did a little research. It turns out that I think he was onto something. He seems to be experiencing something a little more than the usual effect of aging.

So, what I learned:

Firstly, he never does his Kegels. Women are told to start doing Kegels as they age, and most especially after having a baby. Men need to be doing exactly the same thing. Our muscles atrophy too, and we need to keep those pelvic muscles strong if we want those powerful, satisfying orgasms. As I understand it, Kegels for a guy is precisely like Kegels for a woman — just tense that muscle you use to stop a stream of urine from coming out. For me — and I made this up — I will do ten quick tensing of the muscle and then hold it for 10 seconds. I will do this three times in a row. So, ten quick; ten-second hold; repeat three times.

Secondly, he masturbates — a lot. Masturbating is, of course, a fine and good thing. But — and this is just my belief — it can be taken to access. You can do it too much and get patterned in two problematic ways. Firstly, there is the old ‘death grip’ problem. Guys get so accustomed to how their hand feels on their cock, that they need that feel — and, quite often, the firm grip of that feel — to push them to orgasm. When guys masturbate, they tend to place tremendous pressure on the head of their penis. A woman’s pussy will never simulate that exactly, so they have a hard time reaching orgasm in a pussy. No one wants that.

Chai Steeves

eclectic guy - likes sexuality, politics, business, relationships, celebrity trivia...