Growing in Different Sexual Directions

What to do when your partner’s sexual fantasies and desires change in ways that yours do not

I was speaking with an online friend who had recently dipped her toes in the swinging lifestyle. Well… ‘dipped her toes’ may be a bit of an understatement.

She and her husband had started seeing other couples sexually about six months ago, but since starting it’s become the central focus of their relationship. They have one couple they see every Friday night, and they will often see another couple on Saturday night.

The husband, while enjoying it, had started to express some concerns that this was, maybe, a little more than he signed up for. He was feeling that swinging had become a bit too ‘big’ in their relationship.

Her response — she wanted more.

Their original agreement was that they would always play together, as a couple. But within a couple months, she was starting to want to stretch those boundaries. It started on a Thursday night when her husband had gone to bed earlier than she. Her close ‘Friday night friends’ texted her, asking if she and her husband wanted to go out to see some live music. Her husband was sleeping, she said, but she was in. It turns out live music was the appetizer, and a threesome at their friends’ house was the main course.

Her husband was a little surprised at this but took it in stride. He knew and trusted the couple, and he was ok…