The story of two dresses and a tropical beach resort

Photo by Jernej Graj on Unsplash

Everyone likes to get a little dressed up on vacation. You’re in a new environment surrounded by people you will unlikely ever see again, and you may be feeling a little daring and sexy after spending the day soaking in the sun.

It’s become a tradition that my wife and I and our closest couple friends do all of our birthdays together. We put a lot of effort into planning special things for one another — 4 punctuated moments of indulgence each year.

So, in the February just before the…


The first: the incredible capacity people have for growth and change; the second: deep down, we’re all kinky little devils.

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I woke up this morning to a bit of a blistering commentary on one of my stories. The topic doesn’t really matter, but someone took a lot of offence to it and said something to the effect that I was a sexist and a ‘typical man’. I’m not, and she totally missed the point of the article, but that doesn’t matter. I really appreciated the comment, because it caused me to think back and examine the lenses and perspective and biases I likely bring to my writing. …


Photo by Dainis Graveris on Unsplash

With my birthday right around the corner, I was thinking back to birthdays past. In particular, two years ago, my last birthday before the pandemic hit and thr sexy adventure my wife and her best friend gave me.

We had a dinner planned with our closest friends — a couple we spend a lot of time with and, fully disclosure, are very close with. I knew little of the plans for the night, except that the four of us were going to one of our favourite restaurants.

We arrived at about 7pm, dressed nicely, as it was a higher end…


What a wonderful discovery that sex toys aren’t just for women

Photo by Dainis Graveris on Unsplash

Almost one year ago today, my wife and our closest couple friend were celebrating my birthday (yes… it's almost my birthday ... hint, hint… I like expensive wine and chocolate). The four of us celebrate all our birthdays together and this was the first one for us during the Covid lockdowns.

In anticipation of the many nights we would be spending home alone over the upcoming months, our friends gave me my first ever sex toy. They knew that I was starting to enjoy a little bit of anal play so they got me a high-end prostate massager from Lelo…


How do we deal with huge changes in our kids? Or maybe the huge changes aren’t really that huge.

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Just over a year ago, my daughter — 17 years old — was a national level athlete who ate vegetarian, lived in her yoga pants and hoodies, and whose idea of a crazy night was to skip her workout and binge on old episodes of Friends.

What a difference a year can make.

Today marks the one year anniversary of our daughter deciding to end the competitive athlete phase of her life. She had been a national level athlete for the…


Sometimes you just want to be free and naked… is that so bad?

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Shortly after finishing university, my wife (then girlfriend) and I were at a cottage with four others. Two were close friends, the other two we had just met. It was a pretty remote cottage with a sauna on the edge of the lake.

After dinner, the hosts — the couple we didn’t really know — suggested a sauna and swim. It sounded wonderful. My wife and I went to our bedroom, put on our swimsuits, and met the others at the sauna about five minutes later. …


As cottage season approaches, get ready for those long sunny days on on the dock, sharing drinks and intimate secrets.

Photo by Aashish R Gautam on Unsplash

Summer vacation 2005. My wife, our baby and I had rented a beach house with my mom, my brother and his wife. We had brought a new board game we’d picked up — Therapy. I can’t remember the details of how it’s played, but the point is to ask intimate questions and then guess how the other people will respond. It was actually a great time. But there were certainly some awkward and eye opening moments.

Who, in the group…


My wife’s first experiences with The Womanizer

Photo by Dainis Graveris on Unsplash

About two years ago, a close friend texted my wife and I, all excited. She had ordered a new sex toy we had never heard of. The Womanizer. As everyone knows now (but it was new then), the Womanizer is a clitoral stimulator that applies suction — rather than vibration — to your clit. As she texted us, she was on her way to her bedroom for a little afternoon indulgence.

We didn’t hear much more of the Womanizer after that initial romp. Frankly, I wasn’t surprised. Our friend has an extremely sensitive clit, and doesn’t normally like direct stimulation…


Last weekend we returned to a couple of hobbies we used to love. It was both exhilarating and humbling.

Photo by Wojciech Then on Unsplash

I actually used to be pretty good at white water paddling. In a kayak, a buddy and I would navigate rivers usually reserved for only the large inflatable rafts. And in our canoes we felt pretty at ease in anything up to class three rapids. So, not a pro, but definitely a little beyond the weekend warrior.

I was also one of the ‘early adopters’ in the mountain biking scene. Back when ski hills where purely winter spots we spent summers bombing down the mountains on our new fangled mountain bikes.

My wife was a fellow adrenaline junky. Early in…


We all have turning point(s) in our lives that make us the sexual person we are now… what were yours?

Photo by Samuele Giglio on Unsplash

This is my favourite story in the world. And it’s 100% true. A very good friend of mine grew up in Arizona and when she was 18 years old and going to college, she had just moved out of her family’s home and was renting a small basement apartment. Her landlords were a middle-aged couple living in the rest of the house. She got the know the couple reasonably well, over evening drinks and hanging out at their pool. So, one afternoon, as my girlfriend was getting home from school, her landlady had just finished a swim and was showering…

Chai Steeves

eclectic guy - likes sexuality, politics, business, relationships, celebrity trivia...

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