What works in your home with your friends may not be cool at your local wine bar — whether it’s a boob flash or feet on the sofa, our norms need to readjust.
It felt both normal and incredibly novel at the same time. It was our first visit to the chic new wine bar that had recently opened and one of our first outings to a nice place since the covid restrictions had lifted, and certainly the nicest place we had gone — four good friends out for a fancy evening.
After the tastings, we moved to the high-backed chairs and ordered a round of brandies to cap off the evening.
They were oversized chairs, so without really thinking about it, two of us cuddled into one. As we sipped our brandy, our friend felt very relaxed and started to fall asleep in my arms. It was very nice. Until we realized — hey, we’re not in our living room. We’re at a fancy restaurant, and it may not be one hundred percent cool for us to snuggle up and nap as they are trying to close the place down.
At that moment, it hit me that we’ve kind of forgotten the decorum for public behavior. As I reflected on the evening, I realized we had gotten into some patterns in two years of entertaining in our home. While these were fine and even awesome in the privacy of our own house, they needed to be rethought when brought out in public.
So, as we reemerge into the world of restaurants, bars, and cocktail parties, here are a few things to keep in mind.
Dress for the environment you are going into
I’ve had particular fashion predilections that the pandemic allowed me to lean into. Our friends and we like to dress kind of scandalously when we all get together. Ultra low cut tops or dresses, super ripped jeans — kind of sexy chic. This is an excellent look for a home or maybe even a club, but it doesn’t work for a high-end wine bar.
Just this past weekend, we went to another wine bar. As the four of us were getting ready, our friend put on a top that she was literally spilling out of. The wine bar was a little neighborhood spot. The first time he had ever uttered these words, her husband said it might be a bit much.